What was your favorite episode of Toddlers and Tiaras?
I don’t have cable and I’m still working my way through what’s up on Netflix, but so far I have to say season 4, episode 4. I adore little Brock, and his mom. He is just who he is with his love of all things pink and sparkly, American Girl dolls that travel with him, and his Dorothy Halloween costume. And his mother won my heart when she said “That’s just Brock. If anyone has a problem with it, then they don’t need to be around us…”
Of course this is also the episode where one contestant’s mother berates the hotel front desk agent because they are late for their stage lineup and their room keys aren’t working. In my experience, it’s usually the guest putting keys next to a cell phone or credit card, or just simple technical issues with the encoder machine that aren’t the agent’s fault, so really, I’m torn on the episode as a whole.
So…how often do you change your sheets?
Not nearly as often as I should. Not that I’m sleeping in filth or anything, I’m generally a pretty hygienic person. But I have a king sized bed and only one set of sheets and it’s so annoyiiiiiiing *whines*
…and orders a magnum of champagne* because SHE SIGNED A PUBLISHING CONTRACT!
That’s right, the little novella that was pretty much publisher Kryptonite for the longest time has found a home! Evernight Teen, Evernight Publishing’s fairly new YA imprint, was crazy enough to take my hot mess of a story on, and they want YOU to read it when it comes out in October.
Don’t make them come after you.
* Except not, because I can’t afford to go to a bar. Actual celebration may include a box of wine and a bacon cheeseburger.
In the past year or two, I’ve gotten much more serious about my lifelong writing hobby. Okay so I wasn’t penning fiction straight out of the womb. You know what I mean, smartass.
Anyway, one thing I’ve realized is that it’s pretty easy for newbs to fall into some big damn sinkholes on the road to publication. From vanity presses to indie houses to self-publishing services, below is the meager knowledge on avoiding craptastic publishers I’ve collected in my relatively short time in this crazy game. Enjoy!
1. Never pay a publisher. Not one cent. Ever.
One of the first things a properly seasoned writer (yum?) will tell you is that money always flows to the author. What does this mean? It means that you’re supposed to make money, not spend it. But why is it a red flag? There are so many reasons, but this is the only one I needed to know: a house whose authors are supplying the business’ income has no reason to be picky. They’d be stupid to turn anyone away, and as much as they might insist that they are just as picky as a “traditional” house (pro tip: don’t call trade publishing “traditional”), believe me, they are not. You are the customer here. Sales is about parting the customer from their money. Think about it. Do not give anyone there any money.
A publisher should never require you to write a check for any services. Not editing, not print runs, not promo materials.